Joanna Siwiec Response: S. Perl: On Austrian Soil

[Anonymous]

#739

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I began reading Professor Perl’s, On Austrian Soil. I figured that I wouldn’t be able to relate wholeheartedly to her experience in Austria, how she felt, what her thoughts were, her anxieties, her identity. My response was primarily going to be focused on the literal elements of the book, but I found myself drawn to a more personal response.
I proved myself wrong once I recognized that her struggle with her Jewish identity was a dichotomy between hating those who have committed atrocities against Jews but being turned off by Jews at the same time. Growing up in a strictly Roman Catholic, Polish family, I was raised in the breath of Polish antisemitism. I was never taught to hate, because certain things for Poles aren’t a matter of teaching–but of something that is natural to know. I grew up, and still am surrounded, by various airs of antisemitism, and I only understood it when my grandmother would utter something about the Zydy (Jews) and my grandfather would nod his head. The only story I ever heard was that Jewish Russian soldiers would come to my grandmother’s house and eat the soap, thinking it was white chocolate. They never told me what my family’s involvement was in the Holocaust, only that we hated the Germans, the Russians, and the Jews.
They told me we hate Jews because they’re the reason Hitler invaded Poland.
They told me we hate the Germans because they invaded us.
And they told me we hate the Russians because they invaded us, took our land, and made us learn their language.

The moment I was removed from this society to American, I became desensitized to those hatreds, but found myself facing new prejudices: “It’s hard to be born in America…without absorbing prejudice” (14).
I began thinking of all these hatreds that existed as a normal thing in Poland.
Thankfully, I rethought everything.
Unfortunately, I still heard them blaming the Jews.
While I wasn’t born there, nor do I believe in practically anything that is mainstream there, I have a strong Polish identity. I hated the Polish for being so intolerant, but then I found myself hating those that have caused them to be so. So what is the line in this type of dichotomy? My mother refers to co-workers as the jews, my grandparents blame the Jews for economy problems, and can I hate them for having these prejudices? For a long time I felt that I was justified in maintaining these prejudices–because those were, literally, the words of my reality. So now, reading this novel, I realize that I have never asked myself these questions. Or reflected on my own European history. And now that I think of it, I’m not quite sure I want to know what my ancestors did in the Holocaust.

The tone of the first few chapters of the memoir leave me anxious. I’m waiting for them to find out Professor Perl is Jewish, but more so, I’m waiting for her to come out. The tone plays rather well with this sense of fear and anxiety that the narrator is feeling, and how it perpetuates the same emotion in the reader. Do I fear for you? Why is this making me anxious? Just tell them already!

And then:

“But how better to emerge from behind the mask of professor than to reveal what moves inside me?” (12).

This line, in a way, is one of coming out. My curiosity is in the fact that the class was silent as this coming out was happening. Why not embrace it and explain it to a foreigner?

The relationship that Professor Perl forms with Margret seems to be formed and deepened through the process of writing. The questions raised, and the answers given all feed into the power of writing creatively. When the students are offput by writing something that is not academic, it does not come as a surprise. The relationship that develops between the two forces a search for each other’s identities. It forces questions of the past that not many think about in the present, while forming a bond that is dependent on both. The process of being able to write to someone, and to be questioned and taught by them, is a highly emotional and mental process. The excerpts from journals and letters all provide an image of the desire for answers, for hindered curiosities, and what these two women are pulling from each other.

One of my most favorite parts thus far is the hike. The hiking experience that Professor Perl has is written in such a beautiful way, and I do wonder whether the riffs that occur in the gaps of this hike where actual thoughts being had at that time? Or is this something added when writing about the hike?

While, I could go on longer, I would like to lastly point out the scene in which Professor Perl tells Margret that one can tell if someone is Jewish or not. I was actually appalled by the statement as Margret was and as Professor Perl was for saying it. In my head, I quickly thought, “I can easily recognize another Polish person without them opening their mouth.” But thinking this felt so superficial, and I guess I still have some pondering to do on this scene.

[Sondra Perl]

#748

Joanna,
Thank you for your honesty. I find this line so important and expressed so beautifully: “I was raised in the breath of Polish antisemitism.” You continue, “I was never taught to hate, because certain things for Poles aren’t a matter of teaching–but of something that is natural to know.” Like mother’s milk…..born into the breath of a profound and centuries old prejudice. It just comes with the territory….so yes, the the question is what to do with this once it becomes apparent.

It was truly shocking to me that my admissions about myself and my interests in the histories of the teachers was met with silence. I only later came to understand the denial in Austrian culture and how hard it was/is for those I met to own what happened in their land….very unlike Germany. And, yes, Poland is a whole other story, with a very complicated history, both of being victimized, becoming perpetrators and for some becoming rescuers.

Being able to ‘tell’ or recognize someone’s ethnic or sexual or national identity — yes, very strange — let’s talk about it in class.

[Sondra Perl]

#796

That was amazingly courageous Joanna.

Families bring so much narrative in from other generations; it’s amazing if we find a piece of brain matter that isn’t embedded with the opinions of others.

We humans are curious beings, but as a whole, we don’t ask the questions (for a multitude of reasons) that need to be asked.

The idea of “epistolary” communication is a method that should be used more often, particularly in education, to convey things that are often so difficult to address in person.

I think the letter writing between the Professor and Margaret was essential to their relationship and growth. I don’t think they would have had the same intimacy and mutual clarity if their relationship was soley based on face-to-face communication. Writing gives the writer a stage all to themselves, to be heard without interruption. Also, it’s a great way for the writer to actually read back what they wrote, something that cannot be done when we talk, especially face-to-face. (just as we are participating in now)

It’s a shame that I cannot ask the questions my parents never asked their parents (because they have passed away). It’s my belief, that with time, distance and skipping a generation or two, often gives way to clarity.

I’m part Polish too! 🙂

[Sondra Perl]

#809

Joanna,
I read your response right after reading the New York Times article that Lindsey posted on reconciliation. I found myself wondering, what does forgiveness mean within a family? The New York Times article told stories of people forgiving those who had hurt their families, but what does it mean to forgive one’s family for hurting others? This question is difficult for me to understand, never mind answer.

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